The lost lever.

 Small painting i did in the beginning of the week; 'Doorway in Urbino', 10"x8". 

 

5 min sketeches with ink.

 

 Figure study in V.Zanganians class at LAAFA.

 Value study with V.Zanganians class.

Gypsy Queen

The life of an artist may be that of an unconventional sort.  Tired or unable to follow parameters set by societies expectations we follow our inspiration and hearts to a world where we make and break our own rules. Nothing had prepared me for the unpredictable future of choosing this path, but the reward of thinking for myself and making the most out of days which do not seem to follow guidelines certainly make an exciting and rewarding pathway to happiness.   This may not be a cookie cutter lifestyle, but the mess eventually makes a damn nice cake.

My plan; I will be going on a roadtrip with the final destination of upstate NY.  I will be making many stops along the way to check out not only museums and galleries, but to paint which will be the driving force and reason.  Nothing feels as great as the liberty of just creating. Being on the open road, no commitments, just new destinations and making art. This is my comfort zone.  This is my destination for the remainder of the year.

I'm psyched.

I will be sticking in NY state for a couple months; painting snow, tutoring, working on getting published and most importantly, finishing a portfolio.  I will eventually make my way back to Cali, to take the remainder of my classes awarded to me be the ARC scholarship which i'm so excited about and to touch base with my shed.  The remainder of my belongings now amount to barely anything since, due to my constant moving i've had to donate or trash all superfluous items. Even a great many paintings and sculptures are gone and those were the most difficult because alot of it felt like i was getting rid of my history, which to be honest is not all bad. Alot of that stuff was just not a burden i wanted to bear any longer. 


In terms of my professional career I've had to let go alot of my ideals.  Things had worked out fine for me working in a studio but being in charge of everything is a different beast.

 I've had to swallow my stubbornness, ego, and self righteousness, and will now be considering engaging with galleries which ask 50%.  I could make ends meet before, i can't now.  I have no choice but to move forward and swallow the pill.  Such is real life. I'll mention though that I'm still completely in awe of the fact artists have been ok and abiding by these terms and for some odd reason haven't boycott.  But whatever.  History has many examples of things that make me go "ugh?"

This week has been another week where i've moved alot and haven't been very artistically productive.  Here's some stuff regardless;

 Figure drawing earlier this week. F and G open workshop.
https://www.facebook.com/WorkshopsFG

black on black study of my tango shoes.  I cleaned out this canvas but i have every intention of doing another one.

In V.Zanganians class this week.

The Storm

yup. late by a day again.  I know it's tempting to say i've been out slaying evil demons and now, after battle and good bowl of cereal i'm ready to tell you about my adventures... but, that's not the case. I've been actually busy trying to keep a cool head on my shoulders as events are changing my life path for the remainder of the year. So, this week has been packing and moving week. I've checked out apts, i've searched for some jobs, but really, mostly it's been moving.

My own plans for the remainder of the year are going crazy and surprising. Just one more story in the adventures of being a fine artist. I've been hit bad in choosing this career path, but never this bad. (financially and professionally speaking, my emotions are steady enough and i have friends that are helping me out through this transition.)  I wondered if my life has been a series of bad decisions. Alas, it has not been, for when i get back to making art i get reminded of why i sacrificed so much to pursue this line of work. But man, it still hurts sometimes and i believe in a better present and in a better future.  But let me state that this is not a logical career path.

There comes a point in time when you realize fairy tales do not come true and get hit with a hard blow of reality.  Sometimes, it takes a couple times attacking different places.  I've considered myself a hard dedicated worker, with principles and morals and always thought i'd be successful.  I'll get there, just not yet. I'm taking the scenic route.


Meanwhile, here are some sketches from this week done with V. Zanganian.

Also, i got accepted to participate in 'The Man Show' taking place at Cope Studios.  Opening reception is Saturday November 8, 6-9pm, address; 926 Western Ave, Glendale, CA 91201.

A river runs through it

Excuse the non-post from last week. Lot's of crazy stuff happening.

1)i'm looking for a new place to live/studio.
2)job hunting.
3)creating.
4)getting an education.
5)reg ol chores.

So.  Two finished pieces. Some in progress, some studies, some drawings, a photo shoot with a friend and tea/coffee with a friend i met abroad, entered some competitions.  Cleaning, boxing stuff, cooking for friends, drinking tea and eating too much sugar. Have i mentioned entering competitions is expensive? It is.

The two finished pieces, 'River in IT' and 'Harvested wheat in FR'.  Both 30"x15"

Two studies, couch on top... a skull on the bottom.  The couch i think i may push and make it a finished piece.

some quick plein air of a sunset in malibu.

A study i did with Vadim Zanganian.  It's not done yet.

20 min drawing.  I wanted to get the hands in there and almost did (page is larger)... if i only had 10 more mins.  The hands looked so great.

A cast study. I'm considering switching my medium for these to give me greater value ranges with less effort.  If i were to make these darker with the pencil i'm using now... it would take a very long time.

Alas. that's almost the jest of it.  But i must log off now, a great deal of work awaits me before the i can call it a night and ready myself for the adventures of tomorrow.  Ciao! :)


Gonna give a shout out to some great podcasts;

'Revolutions' podcast by Mike Duncan
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/revolutions/id703889772?mt=2
http://www.revolutionspodcast.com/

NPR TED radio hour podcast, latest episode on creativity.
http://www.npr.org/programs/ted-radio-hour/

Lastly, Happy Birthday Richard Schmid.  You have been an incredible inspiration to many and will be for many more to come. Thank you.
http://www.richardschmid.com/

you can't run and you can't hide. Mission; drink tea and watch the world go by, if you can afford it.

This week i worked... on........ i have no idea.  Seems like i'm hitting alot of walls.

I worked some more on the Venice painting... got stuck.

Went to a show at California Museum of Fine Art in Torrance.  Great show there called  'Reallism without Borders'.  http://www.californiamuseumoffineart.com/

Some comp studies for new pieces... i know there is an easier way to do this... hum. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hummmmmmmmm.

I worked on some smaller comps. The second one is very clearly rushed because i'm getting more stressed about the whole 'no income' thing.  Time to start a portfolio. Seriously.

Some plein air...   here is one piece.  I ran out of tape so the edges don't look as nice.

 Kinda stressing about the digital portfolio i haven't been working on since my professional fine art portfolio still owns the pedestool... but uh. Gotta work on that today. (watch me not work on it today... but seriously... i'm going to right now.)

I suppose it would be beneficial to elaborate on why i have chosen this as my next profession to make ends meet.  What i've been doing so far is modeling and taking on prototype painting projects.  Modeling would take up too much time to break even and my prototype painting gigs are drying up.   Teaching and tutoring pays about the same as modeling and i would have to develop a whole new lesson plan and adapt to a very different job.  Not easy.  I could drown even further in the business of fineart but the market for me specially as a beginner is too unstable, i don't think it would financially hold me up.  So in the past i've done some digital painting and used computers... i've gotten to know people in the business and it pays well.  If i can land very few freelance jobs i could survive.   I'm gonna try to do that, survival sounds good.  I'm currently surviving off financial responsibility, when i was getting more jobs i saved the money knowing that freelance fluctuates.

Well, back on the road of this weeks review, this week was the last week some buddies of mine and i were holding a drawing session.  It takes place at CAI, so since it's closing... here is my drawing in progress. Meghan is modeling, she's great.
I'm building a new drawing board... which is kinda cool. It's big, and exciting looking. I got the idea from a friend who took a workshop with Iliya Mirochnik at LAAFA.  I'll show progress photos, just got around to buying the materials for it this week. 

Artist retrospective this week; Francisco Goya. 1746-1828.  Spanish.

Goya lived through the Peninsular War which was brutal.  War is never clean and everyone gets their hands dirty with some of the worst traits the human race has acquired.  Goya experienced this first hand and was witness to many other unflattering social customs and built an intense body of work based on his critical truths.
Check out his etchings.  http://www.wikiart.org/en/francisco-goya/self-portrait

 

Goya, 'Self Portrait', 1815,  20"x18", Real Academia de Bellas Artes de San Fernando, Madrid, Spain.

Goya - Caprichos - No. 43, 'El sueño de la razon produce monstruos', c.1799, Museo del Prado.

	Goya-  'The third of May, 1808', 1814	, 106"x137", Museo del Prado.

mind your head

 Searching for a mentor is difficult. How do you find one? Do you go fishing? Craigslist?  Stalking? Wage war?  No.  No no no.

First, i think it's important to consider your personal skill level.  Before you get a mentor you should be fairly consistent in your output and have some knowledge of proportion, value, anatomy, execution etc, so that you don't waste much time going over basics.  You should also be dedicated and patient.  Art is not a thing that becomes overnight, it's a thing to nurture throughout a lifetime.

In my search for prospect mentors i search for an artist i admire in terms of the art they create and if they understand the concepts/aesthetics i'm interested in. They will know essential academic principles and as well as the ropes of the business of art.  They need to be genuine and there should be mutual respect between pupil and teacher.  If they come at you with a paddle, that's not the way to go.

Lastly, i think the dynamic between two people needs to be put into consideration.  Is communication a cause of stress or does it come easily, are you comfortable asking questions?  How do they critique your work? Are they honest, open and do they guide you in a direction you want to go? Let them teach, be willing to learn.  Does it make sense?  Is there mutual respect?

I'll admit that the concept of a mentor is abit intimidating. The idea of someone helping you with what is the most important aspect of your life.... It is, your life, and someone who just, guides you is... remarkable. I know there is a trade there, but it's not based on your standard currency exchange, and again... being an artist is your soul.  (Spread cheese all over toast here)

I'll also mention the issue with being a female in this field is that at times people will offer a hand of help expecting to sleep with you.  I've had potential models offer the same exchange in not so many words.  Uh... they did not model for me and i walked out on people who offered to help with my education who had other ideas in mind.

So... what's next? I figured out who i would like to study with.
Hummm. Well. I'm sure there are alot better answers to this then the one i'm about to post here but.. this is what i'm doing.  I have a friend who studies with one potential mentor, this person will mention the issue.  The seed. They will have time to consider.  I will seek to see this individual in person, whether that be in a show or through cold calling to stop by their studio.  I'll probably see if they can check out some paintings i've been working on first, then if all goes well see if they can help me out further.  The idea of asking someone point blank 'will you be my mentor' just sounds... weird. The essential idea is to see them in person and ask if they would be willing to help you out or suggest a trade of sorts (in my case, modeling.. or cleaning brushes or whatever, some people have other skill they can use to trade).   If you do manage to land a mentor, work hard for them and listen to them.  That's why you're there.  Remember to shower.

So, this week;
Worked some more on the two larger paintings of mine. Not done with them but i don't know where to take them.  Started another one this week. Going to do some smaller studies as well, started sketching for those, they are figures in the environment.  In my sketching i usually like to focus on construction and anatomy. Make sure i have everything down since i'm still a newbie and all practice is golden.  I start focusing more on shape, light and simplification as they develop into paintings.

On a side note, I model for most of my paintings.  That's because to me i'm a free model, and i just happen to be everywhere i am and am willing.  So i'll shoot ref photos.  During my trip i was running around with a friend of mine for a little bit and he was around when i was inspired and i got to take photos of him.  Needless to say, it's pretty exciting to have a change of model :).   The painting i'm working on now though is just an instance in time; I was in Venice (Italy), saw something remarkable, and am turning it into a painting.  There have been lots of these instances and i look forward to bringing them to life eventually. Or simply.. working from life.  Anyhow. Life is awesome, high five. 

Five minute sketches i did weds.  I hate that my 5mins are looking the same as my 20 mins.  I need to figure out what to do here.

Plein air from this week;

mon

 

sat

Now... i'm not sure what to do. I want to work on my venice painting, i'd like to work on a still life, and i want to do a nightscape plein air.  Those all sound amazing.  BUT, i currently have no income.  I'm sending a last painting up north (small) to see if it sells, but my paintings haven't been selling where i'm sending them.  I hope the holidays will bring good fortune.  My next mode of income is to go into digital... so theoretically, i really should work on my digital portfolio tonight so i can start putting it out there and turning a little profit.  Time will tell all things, yet, time is the most useless of them all. 

Were you dying to find out what i ended up doing?  I know, i was too.
I ended up going out and painting.  Probably explains alot.

Time warp; artists in history, Jacques Louis David. Very present during French Revolution. Incredible artwork.

 

Self Portrait,  25" x 31", Louvre

 

Death of Marat , 65"x50", 1793,  Royal Museum of Fine Arts of Belgium

The Intervention of Sabine Women, 152" × 206", 1799,  Louvre

They say, wisdom comes with age... can that be purchased?

Two paintings i intend on finishing this week.  This is where i was painting after i modeled at CAI. Now closing.


So, i'm in a book. This book is featured in a magazine.  This magazine has e-mailed me twice about purchasing a space in their article about the book so that they could advertise me as an artist.

I said no.  To me if I were selected to be in a magazine (article) it would be because of the quality of my work and not because i purchased my way into it.  I know they do it to survive. Just be aware that alot of the art you see advertised in magazines is not there because it's great, it's there because someone has money. (this can be obvious). 


I find myself now searching new jobs.
Things are hard as usual. In my reflection i need a new direction (this rhymed... if i mumbled it it could be a song). Yes i'm still pursuing fine art, on the educational and professional realm, but i'm not making ends meet.  I need to change something in the way i'm doing things dramatically.  I need a mentor.  Is that the answer?  I was considering delving back to doing digital work again.

quick study from life i did last sunday (couple finishing touches monday morn... still life was still up).

plein air studies from tuesday.

rest of the week i've drawn, and worked on the two larger paintings.