you can't run and you can't hide. Mission; drink tea and watch the world go by, if you can afford it.

This week i worked... on........ i have no idea.  Seems like i'm hitting alot of walls.

I worked some more on the Venice painting... got stuck.

Went to a show at California Museum of Fine Art in Torrance.  Great show there called  'Reallism without Borders'.  http://www.californiamuseumoffineart.com/

Some comp studies for new pieces... i know there is an easier way to do this... hum. Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hummmmmmmmm.

I worked on some smaller comps. The second one is very clearly rushed because i'm getting more stressed about the whole 'no income' thing.  Time to start a portfolio. Seriously.

Some plein air...   here is one piece.  I ran out of tape so the edges don't look as nice.

 Kinda stressing about the digital portfolio i haven't been working on since my professional fine art portfolio still owns the pedestool... but uh. Gotta work on that today. (watch me not work on it today... but seriously... i'm going to right now.)

I suppose it would be beneficial to elaborate on why i have chosen this as my next profession to make ends meet.  What i've been doing so far is modeling and taking on prototype painting projects.  Modeling would take up too much time to break even and my prototype painting gigs are drying up.   Teaching and tutoring pays about the same as modeling and i would have to develop a whole new lesson plan and adapt to a very different job.  Not easy.  I could drown even further in the business of fineart but the market for me specially as a beginner is too unstable, i don't think it would financially hold me up.  So in the past i've done some digital painting and used computers... i've gotten to know people in the business and it pays well.  If i can land very few freelance jobs i could survive.   I'm gonna try to do that, survival sounds good.  I'm currently surviving off financial responsibility, when i was getting more jobs i saved the money knowing that freelance fluctuates.

Well, back on the road of this weeks review, this week was the last week some buddies of mine and i were holding a drawing session.  It takes place at CAI, so since it's closing... here is my drawing in progress. Meghan is modeling, she's great.
I'm building a new drawing board... which is kinda cool. It's big, and exciting looking. I got the idea from a friend who took a workshop with Iliya Mirochnik at LAAFA.  I'll show progress photos, just got around to buying the materials for it this week. 

Artist retrospective this week; Francisco Goya. 1746-1828.  Spanish.

Goya lived through the Peninsular War which was brutal.  War is never clean and everyone gets their hands dirty with some of the worst traits the human race has acquired.  Goya experienced this first hand and was witness to many other unflattering social customs and built an intense body of work based on his critical truths.
Check out his etchings.  http://www.wikiart.org/en/francisco-goya/self-portrait

 

Goya, 'Self Portrait', 1815,  20"x18", Real Academia de Bellas Artes de San Fernando, Madrid, Spain.

Goya - Caprichos - No. 43, 'El sueño de la razon produce monstruos', c.1799, Museo del Prado.

	Goya-  'The third of May, 1808', 1814	, 106"x137", Museo del Prado.

mind your head

 Searching for a mentor is difficult. How do you find one? Do you go fishing? Craigslist?  Stalking? Wage war?  No.  No no no.

First, i think it's important to consider your personal skill level.  Before you get a mentor you should be fairly consistent in your output and have some knowledge of proportion, value, anatomy, execution etc, so that you don't waste much time going over basics.  You should also be dedicated and patient.  Art is not a thing that becomes overnight, it's a thing to nurture throughout a lifetime.

In my search for prospect mentors i search for an artist i admire in terms of the art they create and if they understand the concepts/aesthetics i'm interested in. They will know essential academic principles and as well as the ropes of the business of art.  They need to be genuine and there should be mutual respect between pupil and teacher.  If they come at you with a paddle, that's not the way to go.

Lastly, i think the dynamic between two people needs to be put into consideration.  Is communication a cause of stress or does it come easily, are you comfortable asking questions?  How do they critique your work? Are they honest, open and do they guide you in a direction you want to go? Let them teach, be willing to learn.  Does it make sense?  Is there mutual respect?

I'll admit that the concept of a mentor is abit intimidating. The idea of someone helping you with what is the most important aspect of your life.... It is, your life, and someone who just, guides you is... remarkable. I know there is a trade there, but it's not based on your standard currency exchange, and again... being an artist is your soul.  (Spread cheese all over toast here)

I'll also mention the issue with being a female in this field is that at times people will offer a hand of help expecting to sleep with you.  I've had potential models offer the same exchange in not so many words.  Uh... they did not model for me and i walked out on people who offered to help with my education who had other ideas in mind.

So... what's next? I figured out who i would like to study with.
Hummm. Well. I'm sure there are alot better answers to this then the one i'm about to post here but.. this is what i'm doing.  I have a friend who studies with one potential mentor, this person will mention the issue.  The seed. They will have time to consider.  I will seek to see this individual in person, whether that be in a show or through cold calling to stop by their studio.  I'll probably see if they can check out some paintings i've been working on first, then if all goes well see if they can help me out further.  The idea of asking someone point blank 'will you be my mentor' just sounds... weird. The essential idea is to see them in person and ask if they would be willing to help you out or suggest a trade of sorts (in my case, modeling.. or cleaning brushes or whatever, some people have other skill they can use to trade).   If you do manage to land a mentor, work hard for them and listen to them.  That's why you're there.  Remember to shower.

So, this week;
Worked some more on the two larger paintings of mine. Not done with them but i don't know where to take them.  Started another one this week. Going to do some smaller studies as well, started sketching for those, they are figures in the environment.  In my sketching i usually like to focus on construction and anatomy. Make sure i have everything down since i'm still a newbie and all practice is golden.  I start focusing more on shape, light and simplification as they develop into paintings.

On a side note, I model for most of my paintings.  That's because to me i'm a free model, and i just happen to be everywhere i am and am willing.  So i'll shoot ref photos.  During my trip i was running around with a friend of mine for a little bit and he was around when i was inspired and i got to take photos of him.  Needless to say, it's pretty exciting to have a change of model :).   The painting i'm working on now though is just an instance in time; I was in Venice (Italy), saw something remarkable, and am turning it into a painting.  There have been lots of these instances and i look forward to bringing them to life eventually. Or simply.. working from life.  Anyhow. Life is awesome, high five. 

Five minute sketches i did weds.  I hate that my 5mins are looking the same as my 20 mins.  I need to figure out what to do here.

Plein air from this week;

mon

 

sat

Now... i'm not sure what to do. I want to work on my venice painting, i'd like to work on a still life, and i want to do a nightscape plein air.  Those all sound amazing.  BUT, i currently have no income.  I'm sending a last painting up north (small) to see if it sells, but my paintings haven't been selling where i'm sending them.  I hope the holidays will bring good fortune.  My next mode of income is to go into digital... so theoretically, i really should work on my digital portfolio tonight so i can start putting it out there and turning a little profit.  Time will tell all things, yet, time is the most useless of them all. 

Were you dying to find out what i ended up doing?  I know, i was too.
I ended up going out and painting.  Probably explains alot.

Time warp; artists in history, Jacques Louis David. Very present during French Revolution. Incredible artwork.

 

Self Portrait,  25" x 31", Louvre

 

Death of Marat , 65"x50", 1793,  Royal Museum of Fine Arts of Belgium

The Intervention of Sabine Women, 152" × 206", 1799,  Louvre

They say, wisdom comes with age... can that be purchased?

Two paintings i intend on finishing this week.  This is where i was painting after i modeled at CAI. Now closing.


So, i'm in a book. This book is featured in a magazine.  This magazine has e-mailed me twice about purchasing a space in their article about the book so that they could advertise me as an artist.

I said no.  To me if I were selected to be in a magazine (article) it would be because of the quality of my work and not because i purchased my way into it.  I know they do it to survive. Just be aware that alot of the art you see advertised in magazines is not there because it's great, it's there because someone has money. (this can be obvious). 


I find myself now searching new jobs.
Things are hard as usual. In my reflection i need a new direction (this rhymed... if i mumbled it it could be a song). Yes i'm still pursuing fine art, on the educational and professional realm, but i'm not making ends meet.  I need to change something in the way i'm doing things dramatically.  I need a mentor.  Is that the answer?  I was considering delving back to doing digital work again.

quick study from life i did last sunday (couple finishing touches monday morn... still life was still up).

plein air studies from tuesday.

rest of the week i've drawn, and worked on the two larger paintings.  

the needle in the haystack

CAI, California Art Institute is closing,  I have modeled there and been allowed to use their facility for awhile.  This place has been very rich in it's educational history molding artists for a decades.  It's a shame such a business is closing.
https://www.calartinst.com/
Above also is the painting i've been working on most of the week. It's on the easel.  

I had two wonderful plein air days. Below is one quick study.

A page from the sketchbook :)

I modeled @ CAI this week.  Here is some artwork;

 artist; Charles

 artist; Wendy Salin
http://www.wendysalin.com/site/home.html


In other news I discovered i received a grant from the Art Renewal Center.  Thank you!
 http://www.artrenewal.org/pages/scholarship.php?contest=2014%20Scholarship

I will be taking classes at LAAFA (two) this upcoming quarter. They are having an open house on September 14 with demos from two excellent teachers. Bilmes and Zanganian.  (Starts 10am)
http://laafa.org/

What's your story?

This weeks post won't have much.  I intended to tackle the subjects of perfection and vulnerability but alas, i'm not sure it would amount to much, because, right now i don't care, i don't think you care, so i'll leave it with the art and a general overview of stuff.  Much more fun.

I began to paint a larger piece this week (meaning 20"l) but i found my thoughts on starting these new pieces more interesting.  Yea, i manipulated references a good deal for these ones, abstracted the forms, created my desired pattern.  The figures are tiny but i love doing the studies so much i couldn't help but sketch them out anyway.  Here are the greyscale studies for my future paintings. They differ from the ref, the first was me trying to create a more organic pattern, i found it looked disorganized and 'muddy', so to clarify my thought process i decided to have some fun and make my ideas clearer by using straight lines.  The end product won't look like it but at least as far as a study goes it gets a point a across, and it pushed me towards considering factors i wouldn't normally think about.  I found it to be a great exercise and fun. 

Portrait Project; what's your story?
The more i build friendships and get to know strangers the more i get interested in people.  I'm inspired by them.  They (usually) allow me to take their portraits and i draw them, perhaps paint them and send them a copy.  It's evolving into a project and a very unique and fun one with every experience.  Here are a few.

Note; the 'oh shit' on the drawing below is not in regards to the story, but the fact that i thought i really screwed up the sketch at a certain point.  Can't erase with pen n ink.

Some quick sketches from this week. 2min and 5 mins for the portraits. Two diff sessions.  One was at Los Feliz drawing group which the incredible artist Jennifer McCristian hosts with Ben, the other is one a group of buddies and i have made up.  We are all artists and rotate on the stand as models.

 Last but not least, some quick plein air sketches from this week.  The beach was beautiful.

thought this was funny; particularly relevant since i'm so fond of animation.
http://kotaku.com/if-michael-bay-directed-pixars-up-1623254219?utm_campaign=Socialflow_Kotaku_Facebook&utm_source=Kotaku_Facebook&utm_medium=Socialflow
 
Words of wisdom; If you're down or at any point want to feel inspired, listen to these.  Forwarded to me by Samantha, thanks Samwise!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plWexCID-kA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixci-5EAkWA

A little of column A, a little of column B.

 

The finished version. 'backlit', 20"x16", oil on board

I'd like to to clarify some things.

What is my definition of an artist?
Dude, I don't know.  To be perfectly honest i think it's someone who seeks to express an honesty within themselves (so long as it doesn't hurt anyone, if it does hurt others then you're a sociopath and you should probably seek to connect, it's the beauty of life, everything, after all, is connected).
Many artists start out copying others, specially in the beginning and i think that's perfectly fine and natural, humans are masters of imitation and it's how we learn but that shouldn't be a means to an end.  I'm not here to judge, i either get inspired by something or i don't, do what feels right.

Something i'd like to address from my last post;
Regarding my exposure, sometimes the quality/aesthetic of my work is not what a venue is looking for.  I'm not judging them for it, i'm saying i get a rejection.  There are more reasons why my career is where it is and i have everything to do with it. Cookies for everyone.
I'm just gonna keep creating and hope that my hard work will progress professionally.   I dare say also that i've not considered changing what i do because of lack of approval. I love what i do, i connect with it. It's my reason for being here. I'll also mention that i've had my successes. So.  On we go.

Yesterday i had an interview at T radio V with two lovely ladies, Polina and Kira.  Everyone at the studio was fantastic and super friendly.  I will reveal here though that it wasn't my proudest moment.  Since i've stopped drinking and swearing as means of being social I've been getting reaquainted with the art of conversation and sometimes i get nervous (a part of my personality stemming from childhood experiences).  Anyhow, when that happens my brain races and i say stupid shit cuz i can't organize and keep track of my thoughts. I'm like that guy that feels it was a good idea to strap himself to a rocket and light it.  So,  it happened in the interview, hence i will never watch that interview.  There is a big difference between nervous kat and collected/chillin kat.  All i can think of is me running around that recording room naked with flailing arms trying to catch the words that i want to come out of my mouth which is basically what happened.  At the end of the day though, you know who really cares, no one.  And in that case, i'm perfectly safe and satisfied with my life :). 

 Polina, Kira, Kiel and mystery tech guy, thank you so much for having me on. It was a pleasure. :)

It is no secret that i'm a passionate person, the trouble with that is that it can push on manic. I have a lot of energy and without the proper cares it can be intense in a negative way. I used to let that energy out in a physical and verbal way, but more recently it's taken up the quite psychological role.  
I have learned enough about myself and come to enough peace to be fairly balanced, stable and consistent.  This has been achieved through much hard work on my part, discovery and the willingness to learn and change for the better.  So, for self maintenance i need to at least do one physically straining activity a day, this is usually running, but other activities which really push the body work too, i've added meditation to my list, so there is that, and at least one legit social connection a day.  I keep track of my moods in a calendar and note their root to see if there is a pattern i need to be aware of.  Smooth sailing now... but it wasn't always that way, specially the past 4 years. I'm pretty sure my calendar went black and red for months.

In the end...  remember to play, to have fun, to enjoy every moment regardless of the past and the future.  Don't rush through life. People make mistakes, we screw up, shit happens, and so what?
Move on, learn from it, and commence anew with a positive perspective. Be good to yourself and to others. Cookies for everyone.


The remainder of the week has gone fairly well. Studied drawing, did some paint copies, quick and small of R.Casas and A.Zorn, finished a painting and went plein air with some buddies. I've been working a good deal from photos recently i was really happy to go out and paint from life.
Nothing compares to it, in the end it's really working from life that drives me as an artist, hours can pass and they don't matter and i don't feel them.  You're a part of that reality, breathing it, touching it, internalizing it. 

Getting ready in the next two weeks to apply to some upcoming shows. So, we'll see how it goes! Ciao!

привет

 two works in progress.

 Some miniatures.

I've applied to a many competitions and magazines, and... am still getting solid rejections all around, including the '21 under 31' by Southwest Art, which, my turning 31 this year means if i wanted to make the cut this was my last year.  Collectors, if you're reading this, don't be dissuaded, this is artist life, i'm just giving some skinny on the ropes. I swear to god though, i have no idea how i managed to make this far in my 'career', out of everything i apply for, grants, scholarships, competitions, etc etc, i get the green light on about.. 2% of them and with that it's of little wonder i've managed to get as little exposure as i have.  Oh, and out of the 2%, i decline 1% of that because i don't agree to the terms.  Awesome.  So it's not as though i neglect the business side of being a fine artist, never the less, the answer is clear, i should have become a mad scientist.

Stopped by San Diego Museum to check out Sorolla.  Amazing. Stop by if you haven't. I think you have another 5 days to make it. 

Focusing solely on creation is hard when you have to survive.  It doesn't take very long till you look at your bank statement and go 'oh s***, i need food money'.  So.... i'm gonna have to make ends meet.  Snacking on fingertips is not an option, i need those.

 It's funny i feel great about many aspects of my life which i have changed and grown in ways which have exceeded my own expectations, but my marketing and business are plummeting.  I fail that class.  Truth be told i have been digging my own grave in alot of ways,  starting with, i've been opposed to participating in shows/galleries/etc which request 50% of the total sales of a selected piece of art.  I do not agree with this and hence, have been turning down many opportunities which were presented to me, including being in the L.A.Art Show earlier this year which is a pretty big deal.  So taking my stand on that has not benefited me.  I've spoken to many other artists about this and they've all been ok with it, i guess it's been the norm for awhile, i don't see how.  As artists we are submitting ourselves to getting taken advantage of by compromising our worth.  Yea, i get it, galleries pay bills, work hard to sell our artwork and have the connections, but as the CREATORS, and dedicating our lives to this craft, you think we've EARNED more then 50%! We also do our own share of marketing, networking etc etc.  Being an artist is a business.  You may label me a 'self rightous rookie', and you may be right.  I'll also mention here that unlike other types of arts,  fine artists do not receive royalties if our artwork gets resold or used in promotional campaigns.  One go and that's it. 

I've started learning Russian.  Starting with the alphabet, to reading and writing, pronunciation will take a little longer.  Love it though, i'm having a blast.  Why russian you may ask; well, my name is russian, i'm named after a WWII russian bomber plane and a song about a girl, anyhow, the language has fascinated me for the longest time so off i go.  If you see me and you speak the language, strike up a conversation (simple, remember, this is my first week).  Still practicing a little Italian since i got to know so many awesome Italians while traveling through there.

One of my professions is being an art model, i used to do it alot more, but my focus on my own artwork has taken priority so i'm no longer modeling as much.  Here are some examples;

Glenn Vilppu drawing

Mark Schwartz

April Conners

Matt Durante

Kirk Shinmoto

Lin Hua Zheng

Daniel Bilmes

Tim A.

Kelly McGraw

Jose H.

Ryan T.

Vadim Zanginian

Bill Perkins for a video for New Masters Academy

 

Richard B.

I worked on a portrait commission this week for a video game character.  I can't post it but it was fun, and hence, my working alittle less on my own stuff.

One more thing, next Saturday i'll be on a radio/tv show!  To catch the interview go to this site;
http://tradiov.com/la/videoscategory/artfulundress/


Gotta get crackin.  Finish some paintings!